Do you have a question for Betsy? If so, please write her here. Betsy reads all her mail and the most interesting letters, with her replies, will appear in this section in the months to come. Q: What's the difference between sex and the seductress? A: Sexual conquest isn't what the seductress is about. This is a big misunderstanding! It doesn't take much skill to get a man to bed; that's pretty elementary. What the seductress does instead is make a man fall wildly in love with her—for as long as she wants. To really transport a man, you have to do more than tantric tricks; you have to invade his head with mindspells and your own uniqueness, spirit, and charm. Q: This lost art of love sounds so intimidating! What if I lack a sense of humor (I do) and can't dance? A: Don't worry. The art of love provides the recipe, but you can leave out ingredients and still brew a knockout cocktail. It's that potent. Some of the greatest seductresses, such as Evita and La Paiva, lacked any sense of humor. The arch-fascinator, Lou Andreas Salomé, didn't dance or like music and she wore sack dresses and no makeup. Seduction is an art not a science. The point is to lead with your strengths, crank up your confidence, befriend your body, and be who you are—to the fullest. Q: I'm distressed about my teenaged daughter. I've raised her to be her own person and want her to be savvy in love. But celebrity role models are threatening to undo all my work. She and her friends take their cues from the entertainers they see in the media; their idea of sexy is easy availability, bare-it-all fashions, and provocative behavior. A: Peer group pressure and pop culture are powerful forces. She may have to learn the hard way that she's on the wrong path to erotic sovereignty. Vampwear and eager-to-please promiscuity rarely deliver the goods: male adoration. And that's the name of the game for women; to be in a position to choose, to win the best boyfriends. But moma don't preach! The best tactic is to support her when he doesn't call; then point out celebrities who are paragons of female sexual pride and success—glamorous exemplars like Reese Witherspoon, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Anna Kournikova, and Jennifer Anniston. Not all superstars are Britney Spears. There's a whole new cadre of seductresses, alternative role models with men and life in their pockets. These swanky women will become more and more inspirational as she ages out of slut-chic and discovers its downside: low self-esteem, sexual disappointment, and loss of romantic mastery. Be sure, too, to set a good example yourself. Q: I'm a mother and recent divorcee of 43, dumped by my husband after 15 years for-cliché of clichés-a massage therapist half his age. I'm sorry; I can't connect with these seductresses and their perfect track records and glamorous lives. What do they say to me? A: Actually, the great seductresses of history weren't as privileged as you think, and they have a lot to say to women like you. They also suffered rejections and unglamorous slumps, and lived in eras often more obsessed with youth and beauty than our own. But they overcame the odds and prevailed. How they did it is still useful—and relatively unknown. They show us that love smarts and a little swank will take you everywhere. Their biggest lesson: confidence. You need to buck up—pump your sense of self and put a high price on your head. Shed all the toxic conditioning along with your husband: the double standard, pretty-power propaganda, degrading how-tos, feminine no-nos, and culture of oversexposure. Then cop some seductive wisdom from the seductresses; it's never failed for centuries and won't now. First, cultivate your uniqueness—your interests and talents—and take it to the max. Excellence in anything, whether salsa or Sanskrit, is the top aphrodisiac. Become your personal best, and dial up the neglected psychological arts: people and conversational skills, festivity, and charm. Now, be proactive. Put yourself in the path of opportunity, steel your nerve ("Venus favors the bold"), and watch what happens. No more poor-me ballads, a new social life, and the best men—not mid-life-crisis creeps—vying for your favors. Believe it!